Is the concept of a debutante ball about as relevant to today’s young women as Tinder for your Gran, or a solid tradition worth saving?
For: preserving our dignity
A century ago, the idea of ‘coming out’ had little to do with closets. It was about introducing privileged young women to wealthy society and parading them in front of a posse of prospective husbands. Today, debutante balls typically focus more on simply celebrating a girl’s transition into adulthood – and I have to ask, what’s so wrong with that? We mark other milestones in life: christenings, marriages, uni graduations, so why should we slip meekly through society’s side door when it’s time to become a grown up? Be loud, be proud, that’s what I say – just show a little restraint…
Like the debutante balls of old, there’s still an emphasis on etiquette and decorum, those unwritten codes of behavior that sit in stark contrast to the overt sexiness running riot all over the socialsphere. While the media’s portrayal of women has many young girls trading on their sexuality, deb ball organiser Debutante Presentations promises to present young women “with elegance, sophistication, poise and above all dignity!” They recognise these traditional values of femininity are still worth pursuing and I’m definitely with them on that score. I mean, where’s the dignity in posting scantily clad selfies to announce your presence to the world. Give me a night out with friends in a billowing white gown and elbow-length gloves any day.
And on that note, what young woman doesn’t want to feel like a princess every once in a while? Cinders… you shall go to the ball!
Against: outdated and demeaning
Just as opponents of foxhunting would argue it’s the preserve of the privileged upper classes, you won’t hear much chat about debutante balls in the hallways of Australia’s public high schools. They remain a symbol of elitism – a rite of passage for well-bred, rich gels – and given we’re supposed to be living in an increasingly classless society, surely it’s time we chucked them on the scrap heap of history where they belong?
Bagging a ‘debs’ delight’ – a suitably cashed-up and connected husband – is no longer the be all and end all at these events but critics would argue they’re still marriage marts, which hardly fits with the modern notion of sexual equality. These days, sisters are doing it for themselves thanks very much. The idea of practicing our curtseys and putting on a pretty frock to persuade some wealthy dude to take care of us for the rest of our life is demeaning to say the least. Even the Queen axed the tradition from her court in 1958 and, according to the UK’s Telegraph, Prince Philip (who’s hardly an advocate of progressive views) called it “bloody daft”.
To counter a society intent on sexualising girls at an ever-younger age, there’s no doubt that we could be doing more to nurture their confidence and feelings of self-worth as they transition into adulthood. Perhaps putting greater emphasis on old-school values such as self-respect and dignity is one solution, but the role of debutante balls as a vehicle for this is questionable. They’re probably best left for period dramas like Downton Abbey where we can marvel at the glamour and high-falutin’ness of the occasion but recognise that it has little relevance to modern life.
This story was first published in the Opinion section of former NRMA site Live4 in April, 2015.
